Any healer or treatment professional has to deal with issues of transferrance and projection. These generally refer to the specialist receiving or sending emotions to the client, respectively.
In plain terms, we have a tendency to project our perspectives onto the client, or to take their perspective home with us. Both lead to disaster. When we take the issues home we sabotage our own lives while rendering ourselves incapable of treating the client.
Contrastingly, we also fail to treat when we project our feelings and ideas onto clients. Both situations result in ill health for the client and the professional.
Empaths are a specific breed of healer and can be found in many modalities, nursing, psychaiatry, psychology, medical intuition, acupuncture, vibrational medicine, you name it. Their gift consists of the ability to sense of feel their targets emotions.
This forte, I inherited from both my mother and father; who are in fact, Medical Doctors. She a psychaiatrist, and he, a surgeon. It enables me to feel nearly anyone’s emotions. More often than not I can target or block the sensations. In extreme cases I can do neither.
For example, this blog has been unwritten for several days because I am in a custody dispute. Because of the intensity of feelings in this situation, I have little ability to block the ill will being sent towards me. Thus I employ “The Method.”
Everyone can benefit from this method. It enables one to recognize, feel, and release emotions. When an individual does this, they carry little or no resentments. Its steps are:
Feel your emotions.
Communicate them out loud.
Transmute them into growth oriented experiences.(Instead of growth limiting ones)
Release them to the outside world.
An example helps as always:
Bob has resented his father for nearly twenty years. Robert Senior was a self-made man, The Ball Bearing King of Humbertville. He wanted his son to aspire to a greater life. Thus, the universe gave the King a highly intelligent son of a more delicate nature.
This son had an intellect of such refinement that he taught himself chess at a young age. Furthermore, he excelled in school, including art and music. Yet Big Bob did not appreciate it. In fact, whenver Little Bob did better in school, he was chastised by the Big Man.
Thus, the son began to get into trouble for being “too rough,” or arguing with teachers. Ironically, this behavior earned further criticism from his father. Bob had no idea what to do. Eventually he joined the Army at 17 and left home.
When he returned, his father gave scant praise and hinted that he should have stayed home to become the Ball Bearing Prince. At this, Bob fumed. You mean the ball bearing itself crushed under your machining! He did not return until his father fell sick many years later.
At this time his close friend from the Army had shared with him The Method. Bob’s friend said that if you do not release your feelings in the present, they haunt you forever. Because Jr. had his father’s courage and his mother’s intellect, he learned the Method.
When he finally met with his father, he asked if he could share something. His father had worked himself nearly to death at the ball bearing plant. And he was too tired to interrrupt. So Bob began to share.
“Father I have always loved you.”
“I know son, there is no need to say it.’
“Yes in fact Pa, there is. I need to share my feelings now. They are not facts, but feelings. They can be neither delegitemized nor explained away. I ask you to promise listen to what I have felt and not interrupt.”
His father nodded.
“Pa, all you ever asked for me was to live a better life than you, to build upon your legacy.”
“Yes son, I—“
“Please Dad, no interruptions, I need toget this out. I have gained top marks in every course I have taken in the Army and beforehand. My education has taken me all over the world and to some top universities. Yet never have you even said good job to me. Whenever I asked for praise directly, you would say that ‘it does not need to be said’ line.”
“If it means so little, why was it so hard to say? Even worse, you would criticize me, or talk about how hard it was to work at the plant that YOU BUILT. Pa, you asked the universe for a great son to exceed your legacy. This I am, and have become. I am about to embark upon my leadership career, hitting general over thousands of men far earlier than the 400 you lead today.”
“HEY WAIT A MIN— !”
“Pa, I am no longer a boy, and I must continue. Listen. I am that son that you have asked for. Because of, and despite you, I exceed your legacy and that of grandpa. Thank you father, and I offer my encouragement to you at the end of this phase of your life.
I dedicate our successes and failures to each other. Your harshness has taught me many things. What not to do, yes. And what to do, even more. My son learns from my hard example how to work hard, and how to build something which adds to the world in a lasting way.
But I also never forget that he is not me. I encourage him to exceed my legacy in SUBTLETY and STYLE. I NEVER neglect to recognize and appreciate his strengths, while managing and disciplining our weaknesses. He is oftentimes more you than I. He would rather build then plan, drive than fly. Together we make him into his own legacy.
So I thank you father for what lesssons your provided, in your neglect, and in your attention.”
At this point both he and his father bawled. Silent streaming tears swept their faces. After an indeterminate amount of time his father spoke:
“Son, I know that I have been unfairly hard on you, and too easy on your sisters. There are many reasons for this, most off the my own shortcomings. In these past several weeks in the hospital I have had much time to reflect. To my shame it has not all been fair to you.
Yet to your credit, it now reflects well on both of us. The truth is son, you intimitdated me. I did not know what to do with what God had given me. Many other parents resorted to medications and other such nonsense. I could never do that to my flesh and blood. So instead I beat you in the ways that I knew.
I was not taught how to raise a General, only a Colonel. The latter stays on the ground in the dirt while the former rises above. You have shown us both that it is possilble and I thank you for that. I cannot say that I am sorry for what I have done to you, as I am too old for that.
I am what I am, and I make no apologies. You knew this about me long before you came in. What I can say, is that I am proud of you. I hope that you remember too though, that part of your courage comes from my stubborness in riding you. We can be Jackasses we two. Don’t forget that!” In the above example, Bob Jr.had to make peace with his feelings over many years. While in the Army he felt his emotions in the quiet cold of the night. He would shout them at the unverse as he tackled one obstacle after the next. This way, he transmuted what he felt was abuse into motivation. He released as much as he could until no resentment remained, only sorrow or pity.
When the time came to visit his father, he prepared to share the Method. Once there, he explained that these were feelings, not opinions or facts. They are somhow more real and less negotiable than facts. Even then, they hold less solidity than opinions.
Feelings exist in an entirely watery area of flexibility and flow. They must be allowed to flow, or they create blockages, illnesses, and resistance. This resistance can manifest as dogma and even war-internally as cancer, externally as combat. I have tested this method in many situations for myself, my family and my clients. It works.
Feel your feelings, communicate them, transmute them, and relesase them.