Juan got divorced several years ago.  After five years of fighting, he has secured a solid visitation plan and a balanced custody arrangement.  When his son Robert arrives he takes him everywhere, to the zoo, the library, and the gym.  Juan and Roberto are inseparable. 

One morning Roberto wants to learn how to bake a cake.  They have made it together dozens off times before; this time though he wants to surprise Daddy.  He gets out all of the bowls and mixing implements and the cake mix.  After reading the instructions carefully, he begins to measure and mix. 

About a half an hour into the process, Daddy comes down to make breakfast for them.  He realizes what Little Robert is doing and says nothing.  Even though Robert has forgot to preheat the oven and is adding the ingredients in the wrong order.  All Big Poppa does, is watch and pretend he does not notice. 

Instead, he asks, “Whatchya want for breakfast little guy?”  To which the boy answers in a firm tone, “Nothing Daddy, I’m making breakfast today.”  The father smiles approvingly, “Wow, son.  I guess I’ll just get us the paper then?”  “Yeah Dad.”  Forty-five minutes later, the son is happily serving them. 

The cake is a bit burned and incredibly dry.  Little Robert has added things in the wrong order and did not preheat the oven.  Nonetheless, they cut into the frosted marvel that testifies of human curioousity and ingenuity.  While eating, the father smiles happily and approvingly to the son, “So, how do you feel about your first breakfast little guy?” 

In a matter of fact tone, the son states, “Well Dad, it is harder than it looks.  I followed the instructions, but somehow it does not seem to taste the same as when we make it together.” 

Juan gently responds, “Why do you think that is?” 

“I think I may have misread somewhere.” 
“I think you are right.  You know I am always here to help if you need it.”  “I know Dad, but I really wanted to make it myself this time.” 

Juan is prepared for this and says, “And you did a great job on your first cake.  I am really proud of your effort.”  Laughingly adding, “Though I am not sure that we are going to enter the church baking contest yet.” 

The two smile and continue eating. 

Later that morning when they are riding down a bike trail together, the Juan watches his son cycling out ahead and circling back and forth.  He reflects on the growth of his only child, and even more profoundly, the growth of his own character.  In ancient philosophy they often say, “The Last shall be First, and the First shall be Last.”  A new meaning strikes the father today. 

You give birth to your parents, for it is your children that truly teach.  Watching his son grow taught him not to interfere so quickly with solutions when challenges are so fun.  Children, and all people for that matter, create wonderful dramas and hurdles in their life to solve and grow through.  They want to leap, not be carried over, their obstacles. 

Like this morning when Little Roberto was baking his cake.  He did not want Daddy to do if for him, or to do it together, he wanted to figure it out on his own.  In the past, Daddy would have held his hand all the way through.  Or even worse, he did it for him.  This crushes self-esteem and destroys initiative; especially in children. 

Juan’s leadership in all facets of his life has grown.   He now views his employees as his children.  Rather than be the domineering tyrant he once was, he is now the loving father.  He helps them to align their visions and values and facilitates cohesion and compromise.  The father neither solves their challenges nor doles out solutions, he leads.  No more dictatorship. 

His thoughts sink deeper into his conscious to become part of its permanent landscape.  His awareness rises like the fires of Kilauea creating new land for his son and family to traverse.  They start by riding further down the path.